I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Randomize
