lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
