He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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