Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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