last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
