i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
