Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
