just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
