Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
