i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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