We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
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