dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
