omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
