Swine flu is the new snow day.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
