i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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