I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
