I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
