There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
