Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Did I show you my penis last night?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.�
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Randomize
