Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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