in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
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