This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
