I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
