Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Randomize
