He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I want to stick my p in your. b.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
