I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
