i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
