That's when you crack a 10am beer
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
