Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
