She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Fuck appropriateness.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
