We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
