And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
