all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
she told me i tasted like america
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
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