this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
