I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
