the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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