Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
What a dumb baby whore.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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