you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
