sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
