Having a random hookup so left but love u
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
