You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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