her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
