Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Randomize
