haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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