The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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