My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
