she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
