I want to make a zoo with you.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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