just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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