If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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