She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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