i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
