lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
