2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
