So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
