If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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