We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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