He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
